Easter, Babies, and Sleep – Sunday Surf

Babies and Birth

My Beautiful, Peaceful Birth Space –“It’s hard to explain in words what it means to walk into this space to give birth instead of into a hospital room.”

Is Fear in Pregnancy (and Birthing) Inevitable? – “…it seems pretty unhealthy to be so scared of such a normal and natural process, doesn’t it?”

Getting a Baby on a Schedule – “The problem can come in when someone tells us that we HAVE TO get our babies on a schedule from the get-go or the entire world will crumble apart.”

The Power of Women…The Power of Community – “...I think I got so into it because I was just so impressed with seeing all those women in person who really knew and felt the importance of supporting women in birth.”

Really, My Breastmilk is Turning to Water!? – “The transition from exclusive breastfeeding to full use of family foods is a very vulnerable period.”

The Curious Case of the Crying Baby – “Just as I would never outright ignore someone who was speaking to me, especially someone I care about, I will never ignore Annabelle’s cries, but I am starting to view them differently.”

Bedsharing Rewards – “The morning begins with a babble rather than cries, and my baby lays next to me babbling and smiling until I decide I am ready to face the day.”

When You Have Tried for a Year – “Not only are you now in a the new category of ‘infertile’, you have to deal with people telling you that you are doing something wrong and need to try their method.”

Four Lies Sleep Trainers Tell You (and One Truth They Won’t!) – “How many adults fall asleep being rocked? How many still co-sleep with their parents? Not everyone was sleep trained, so obviously the child does decide to sleep on his/her own eventually.”

Parenting

Verses to Parent By: Part 2 – “When I was yelling at my kids, constantly criticizing, withholding love because of my disapproval of their actions or spanking my children, those actions were not showing them my love.  They were showing them my authority, my ego and conditional love.”

As Easy as Falling Off a Log: Advertising to Children (Part Two) – “A half hour spent on Nickolodeon was a half hour of “I want that!” “I need that!” as commercial after commercial advertised directly to my daughter…”

Proceed with Caution – “Each child is unique and develops at a different pace, focusing on different aspects of growth.”

Laughing All the Way to the Breastmilk Bank – “I boo the toy industry for including a bottle with every baby doll. It’s one way bottle feeding is normalized when it should be the exception.”

You Let Your Daughter Play with THAT? – “I find it so ironic that in a society that’s so entrenched with sex and sexuality that parents choose to get their blood boiling over a doll that mimics natural feeding.”

Easter

Healthy and Homemade Easter and Ostara Basket Ideas (with Tutorial Links) – “For families who would like to avoid Easter and Ostara baskets full of sugary, processed foods (think Peeps and Cadbury Creme Eggs) and cheap plastic toys…”

Get Your Egg On: Eco-Eggs Coloring Kit – “The dyes are made from plant, fruit, and vegetable extracts (rather than arsenic and unicorn tears or whatever is usually in that stuff).”

Easter Basket Gift Ideas – “But if you eschew all that plastic crap and you don’t particularly want your kids to have all that processed sugar what do you?”

Food

Food Schizophrenia: Living in the “Real World” – “I kept my thoughts of ‘Would you like Blue Dye Number 1 for Attention Deficit Disorder, or Red #40 for anaphylactic shock?’ to myself. Instead I said, ‘Blue Gatorade or Purple?'”

Check out Adventures in Mommyhood, Authentic Parenting, Baby Dust Diaries, ChildOrganics,Cloth Diapering Mama, Fabulous Mama Chronicles, Hobo Mama, I Thought I Knew Mama, Mama and Baby Love, Mama Eve, Maman A Droit, Momma Jorje, Monkey Butt Junction, Motherhood Moments, My Inspired Baby, Navelgazing, and The Parent Vortex for more Sunday Surfing!

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How Our Co-sleeping Relationship Ended

Tuesday was my daughter’s birthday. She was born at 8:09 am March 22nd 2 years ago. She was my beautiful little water baby. Today she is my beautiful little girl.

Birthday Girl

She took a major step this weekend and changed where she has slept for her whole life. She now sleeps in her very own bed and it was a decision she made on her own. My last day of sharing a bed with my daughter and husband was this past Friday and I didn’t even know it would be. I would have cuddled her extra tight. I probably would have been up half the night just gazing at her and stroking her sweet cheeks and breathing her in. I probably would have tried my hardest to memorize every detail of those last moments of her lying next to me. But, like almost all of her milestones, this one came lightning fast.

The Owl Bed

For her birthday we got her her very own twin bed with birdy sheets
and her Nanny (my mom) got her an owl quilt (one of her favorite animals) and an owl lamp. We choose to wait until her birthday party to put it all together and show her after she had opened all her other gifts.

And she absolutely loved it.

Moments after seeing her new bed

When it was time for her normal bedtime routine, after her bath she wanted me to skip straight to the bedtime part. She wanted to skip the rest of our routine. She kept telling me that she want to go to bed in HER room, in HER bed. I knew she was ready for this change but still expected some resistance. We actually weren’t even going to have her sleep in it the night of her party since we had my in-laws in town staying with us and it had been a pretty eventful day. We had a plan for the transition. But our daughter didn’t need our plan.

That first night she slept in her “owl bed” with no problems. She awoke once in the night to nurse and within 20 minutes she was fast asleep and didn’t wake until morning. I thought she might wake up earlier than normal but she didn’t. It was all very unexpected and bittersweet really.

It will be a week tomorrow that she has been sleeping in her own room so I guess it’s official. We are no longer a co-sleeping family. Our bed seems so big now and I miss my sweet girl sleeping right next to me. I actually slept horribly the first couple nights, unable to get comfortable or relax enough to get any decent rest. It’s  funny but it’s kind of how our co-sleeping relationship started out.

I never anticipated having to re-learn how to sleep without her beside me. The first couple nights I actually was already awake or awoke shortly before she did. We are still in tune even though she is across the hall now. She doesn’t wake up crying. She simple will wimper for a moment, and, if I hear her, I go in to nurse her. The last couple nights I did not even hear her until she came walking down the hall, saying “mama, mama, mama”. We met in the middle and walked back to her “owl bed”. The first time she walked to our room, she kept asking me to come to “owl room” and “owl bed”. I think she was actually worried I was going to put her back in our bed. Another time once she saw me coming towards her, she turned back around and hopped into her bed, waiting for me to join her.

The Morning After Her First Night in Her New Bed

There are still plenty of sweet night moments to experience with her (and my husband laughs that I actually am excited when she wakes at night). I know that our co-sleeping days will always be an extra special memory to me though and I will definitely miss them.

Sunday Surf for week of November 7

I’ve got lots of good stuff in this week’s Sunday Surf. Enjoy!

Attachment to an Open Mind and A Tale of Two Chickens, as well as Guest Post–What is Wrong with Ms. Jong? over at Mama Eve

Nighttime Parenting over at API Speaks

More Support for Co-sleeping over at Do Justice, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly with God

For a Friend over at Momopoly

Emotional Structure for Terrific Toddlers over at Heartwise Parenting

A Dad’s Opinion on Breastfeeding over at Natural Parents Network

Window Farming: A Do-It-Yourself Veggie Venture over at NPR

The Epidural Trip over at Midwifery Today

My Baby is Sick – Should I Continue to Breastfeed? and Breastfeeding Past Infancy: Fact Sheet over at Kellymom

Flour, Oil and God’s Grace over at My Thoughts

Fresh Start for a New Year? Let’s Begin in the Kitchen and Thanksgiving Sides Show of Raw Vegetables over at The Minimalist, NY Times

I’m a Mama…Naturally over at Ella-Bean & Co.

I Finally Made a Gingerbread House. It Only Took Me ALL MY LIFE (plus a Christmassy playlist) over at The Gluttonous Vegan

A Tale of Two Herds over at The Guardian

A Letter to Mommies and Daddies About Sleep over at The Leaky B@@b

Women Speak Out About What’s Gone Wrong with the United States Birthing System over at The Huffington Post

Free Diapers!

I love free stuff so when I saw this writing contest for a $100 gift certificate to Cotton Babies, I jumped on it! The theme is “I’m Glad You Were Born.” Below is my contest entry. It is actually an edited down version of my published story How Motherhood Came to Me. Hope I win!!

The first time I saw your face I didn’t believe it. Maybe I still don’t in a way. You swam up to us and I turned around and looked at your father in disbelief. You’re real, you’re here, you are the most beautiful human being I’ve ever seen, and I can’t believe you’re mine. Through the years I had told myself that I really would never have a child. And I guess, in that raw moment, my first emotion was shock, disbelief, even in spite of all the facts and evidence to the contrary.

I loved you immediately. I was in a swirl, a fog. as you were laid on my chest, as I cradled your tiny, vernix-covered body. You were very real and had been wanted for so long. You came out screaming, which was unexpected, but makes perfect sense now. I always heard water babies were calm, but calm has never described you. You came on your due date, right in the beautiful sunny spring morning hours. I had labored all night without even realizing it. It felt like time stood still. Labor was smooth, steady, quiet, peaceful. Warm water, dim lights, soothing voices, calming hands.

Nursing you is especially precious to me. I love having you so close to me, especially at night. Sometimes I gaze at you sleeping and try to soak you in. I know soon that you will be across the hall, sleeping on your own. But for right now you need me. You want me. I know too quickly you won’t be my baby anymore. Already you’re toddling around, terrorizing our house. But at night, you are still. You are quiet. You still enjoy turning around after nursing and snuggling next to me. I always thought by now I’d want you in your own room, but instead I find myself dreading that inevitability. I treasure you, my precious gift from God.

I love you with all my being and don’t care if that means I’m more “mother” now than anything else. I won’t apologize for “losing” myself to motherhood. On the contrary, it is with your birth that I have found myself.